A new year brings with it sentiments for what has passed and resolutions for what is yet to come. The Jewish New Year in its true religious form is an opportunity for reflection and repentance. The liturgy for the Jewish New Year states that God waits for our repentance and even if it is given on our last day here on earth He will grant it to us. Of course we don't know when our last day of life is, thus repentance according to tradition is a perpetual state of mind. The High Holidays are a gift from Him so that we are awakened to repentance since our natural instinct is not necessarily to be focused on that all the time.
As I get older I get less anxious about this season. When I was growing up and being educated in the tradition of my people, fear and guilt permeated my psyche this time of year. In one of the most poignant prayers said on the High Holidays we lament over who shall live and who shall die. Who will go in his time and who will go before his time. Who by fire and who by flood and so on. This reading seemingly puts the verdict in the hands of God, our chief justice, jury and executioner. Reality seems different to me now. Who really is responsible hurricanes, tsunamis, tornados, tidal waves and other severe weather? Who really is responsible for severe draught that brings on miles of fires that destroys everything in its path? Who really is responsible for wars, street violence, rape, school shootings and the use of chemical weapons. Who really is responsible for heart disease, cancer, birth defects, AIDS, malaria and polio?
I can believe in God and also believe that He is not so much the micro manager, tradition and liturgy will have us believe. We are very much in control of who shall live and who shall die, yet we conveniently place blame in God's hands so we can shirk our responsibilities to ourselves, to others, to our planet, to our environment and to all we are blessed with. It is more convenient to believe that climate change is a hoax than to help clean up the ozone layer. It is more convenient to think that war and violence happens elsewhere while our cities are plagued with gang wars and shootings. It is more convenient to lament the rising costs in health care when a few more ounces of prevention can save millions. It is more convenient to blame the worldwide financial crisis on the rich and the banks or for them to blame it on the welfare dependency culture. It is convenient to blame political gridlock on the other side.
We should start with ourselves. 5773 was a frightening year on a macro level. Wars continue unabated in various regions of the world. Hurricanes and fires caused death and destruction on to large a scale. Financial uncertainty continues for most everyone while partisan bickering prevents a reasonable solution. Yet throughout all this on a micro level we all live with our own ups and downs. For me the highlights of 5773 was finding out that I will be a first time grandfather in 5774, that my son graduated from college and my daughter from high school, that my 84 year old father continues to maintain good health, that he and his wife enjoy life and their children, grandchildren and great grand children, that my friends and family celebrate milestones together. On the darker side I prepare to lose a close friend to an inoperable, untreatable brain tumor. I live with the anxiety of building a new business. I fear for my youngest child spending a year in Israel having to always carry a gas mask and be prepared to run into bomb shelters. I worry for a son who has to enter an impossibly insurmountable job market. I am petrified for a son in law who as a member of the United States armed forces is about to return to Afghanistan where even our friends don't really care for us.
As I contemplate all these things the most I feel I can ask from God is that he give us the wisdom to begin to heal the world and to fix its problems. I also urge Him to give us the appreciation and foresight to be thankful for all that we have and the ability to hold on to it without screwing up too badly, to live in the moment with our focus on the future, to improve our own lives and the lives of those around us. I cannot bring myself to pray to God and ask him for personal specifics but I will meditate and pray that we the people, both collectively and individually, will find the wisdom to better ourselves and the world we live in.
As I get older I get less anxious about this season. When I was growing up and being educated in the tradition of my people, fear and guilt permeated my psyche this time of year. In one of the most poignant prayers said on the High Holidays we lament over who shall live and who shall die. Who will go in his time and who will go before his time. Who by fire and who by flood and so on. This reading seemingly puts the verdict in the hands of God, our chief justice, jury and executioner. Reality seems different to me now. Who really is responsible hurricanes, tsunamis, tornados, tidal waves and other severe weather? Who really is responsible for severe draught that brings on miles of fires that destroys everything in its path? Who really is responsible for wars, street violence, rape, school shootings and the use of chemical weapons. Who really is responsible for heart disease, cancer, birth defects, AIDS, malaria and polio?
I can believe in God and also believe that He is not so much the micro manager, tradition and liturgy will have us believe. We are very much in control of who shall live and who shall die, yet we conveniently place blame in God's hands so we can shirk our responsibilities to ourselves, to others, to our planet, to our environment and to all we are blessed with. It is more convenient to believe that climate change is a hoax than to help clean up the ozone layer. It is more convenient to think that war and violence happens elsewhere while our cities are plagued with gang wars and shootings. It is more convenient to lament the rising costs in health care when a few more ounces of prevention can save millions. It is more convenient to blame the worldwide financial crisis on the rich and the banks or for them to blame it on the welfare dependency culture. It is convenient to blame political gridlock on the other side.
We should start with ourselves. 5773 was a frightening year on a macro level. Wars continue unabated in various regions of the world. Hurricanes and fires caused death and destruction on to large a scale. Financial uncertainty continues for most everyone while partisan bickering prevents a reasonable solution. Yet throughout all this on a micro level we all live with our own ups and downs. For me the highlights of 5773 was finding out that I will be a first time grandfather in 5774, that my son graduated from college and my daughter from high school, that my 84 year old father continues to maintain good health, that he and his wife enjoy life and their children, grandchildren and great grand children, that my friends and family celebrate milestones together. On the darker side I prepare to lose a close friend to an inoperable, untreatable brain tumor. I live with the anxiety of building a new business. I fear for my youngest child spending a year in Israel having to always carry a gas mask and be prepared to run into bomb shelters. I worry for a son who has to enter an impossibly insurmountable job market. I am petrified for a son in law who as a member of the United States armed forces is about to return to Afghanistan where even our friends don't really care for us.
As I contemplate all these things the most I feel I can ask from God is that he give us the wisdom to begin to heal the world and to fix its problems. I also urge Him to give us the appreciation and foresight to be thankful for all that we have and the ability to hold on to it without screwing up too badly, to live in the moment with our focus on the future, to improve our own lives and the lives of those around us. I cannot bring myself to pray to God and ask him for personal specifics but I will meditate and pray that we the people, both collectively and individually, will find the wisdom to better ourselves and the world we live in.
